new and need to understand my voice

[echo78]

Ok i have been hearing a voice now for 7 months now. I heard this befor and my theapist says it me the other side of me i dont want to show to the world.
well this voice in my head is not me talking. I dont know this voice. It sound diffrent to my own voice and i will not eccept it me as it really nasty and vindictive. it trys to convice me that people i love are evil. also trying to put into categories good,evil and preteners who are trying to be ether of the other too. I know this sound really way out their. I am trying to ignore this voice but i as i do it get more loader. then i cant concentrate on what iam doing be it talking or waching tv.
The psychiatric doctor knows this is going on. The voice just been very active over the past three days and am started to get really tired of it in my ears. it just will not give in. i have been listening to music to try and drown out the voice. the only time i get peace is when i am a sleep.
I am just about copeing with this and i am frighted it will get the better off me as it draining me. It Points out all my mistakes to me I'm so paranoid at the moment. Am so tried and fed up all i want to do is lock my self away from the world and sleep. just so i dont have to lisern to this voce. with the deprestion and this it hard to keep reality at times.
sigh sigh

i Have been to see my CPN today. She told me to do a dairy on my voice to show my psychiatric doctor. Well i dont know how detailed this dairy has to be? What this voice says to me is very horable and i would feel uncomfortable writeing it.
It talks most of the day So if i had to write every thing, i would be here all day writeing it all out.
Iam trying to not lisern to what it has to say but i have to lisern to it now. I don't want to lisern to it.
My C.P.N says it me talking to my self. I dont want it to be me as some of the things it has to say about people and the way it says thing just well unrepeatable. If it is me i dont want people knowing what i thinking of people in these kinda ways. god i hate it, if it is me iam so so I cant eccept it me talking in my head it would be like addmitting it is their. which will make the voice be more prominent and real.

Echo xxx

[Chris]

First let me welcome you to the forums echo, its really nice to meet you.

Sounds like you're going through a hectic time with the voices at the moment. I personally haven't heard voices since i started my latest antipsychotic (amisulpride) which has worked great for me.

Anyway. I think the main thing i'm going to say to you is don't be ashamed of your voices. I too believe that my voices are not me... however, i guess when i think about it they must come from some part of my brain.

I would definitely suggest reading our main website at www.sussexvoice.org.uk for the coping strategies and reasons for voices etc. It may well help you understand them a little better.

In doing a diary, i would just write out what you think the important bits are... for example, "today i thought aliens were trying to contact me through the masts of a boat" - yes that was actually one of my delusions!

but i wouldn't go into too much detail in the diary unless you feel its totally relevant.
Also try and keep a note of how your mood is while you're making the notes. E.g. feeling positive but psychotic, or everything is negative and voices are commanding me etc.

I'll think more about this and reply again later

Again, Lovely to meet you, speak soon!

Chris

[echo78]

First let me welcome you to the forums echo, its really nice to meet you.

Sounds like you're going through a hectic time with the voices at the moment. I personally haven't heard voices since i started my latest antipsychotic (amisulpride) which has worked great for me.

Anyway. I think the main thing i'm going to say to you is don't be ashamed of your voices. I too believe that my voices are not me... however, i guess when i think about it they must come from some part of my brain.

I would definitely suggest reading our main website at www.sussexvoice.org.uk for the coping strategies and reasons for voices etc. It may well help you understand them a little better.

In doing a diary, i would just write out what you think the important bits are... for example, "today i thought aliens were trying to contact me through the masts of a boat" - yes that was actually one of my delusions!

but i wouldn't go into too much detail in the diary unless you feel its totally relevant.
Also try and keep a note of how your mood is while you're making the notes. E.g. feeling positive but psychotic, or everything is negative and voices are commanding me etc.

I'll think more about this and reply again later

Again, Lovely to meet you, speak soon!

Chris

ty chris it nice to meet you :D i have been put on seroquel it worked last time and it starting to work now a little.
Thanks for the advice and i did not think about the mood i was in in the diary. sorry it taken some time to reply i had the emails going in to my junk mail box. it all now changed and working all ok . :D

take good care and speek to you soon as i have to take my son to school.
Echo78 xxx

[echo78]

hi there, its nice to meet you too.
thanks for you reply and i have looked at the main website and there a lot of stuff to read. Also i the diary print out is good .
i have been put on quetiapine 25mg its helping a little but not enough.
i have to go to my son school open day. thanks for your help and support.
take good care
echo 78 xxx

[sara]

Hi Echo - good to meet you - sorry you've been going through such a hard time with the voices - glad tho that you've found us and found teh diary helpful.

Not sure what to say about whether the voices are your thoughts - I certainly know people who do think the voices are their thoughts that they don't want to have - some people find that a helpful way of understanding them.

I'm pleased that you've found our diary helpful - be good to hear how you get on with it. For me, one part of keeping a diary is to get a bit more predictability by noticing when the voices are worst - is it at night? is it when you're by yourself, or in a crowded room? or watching TV - and when are they less of a problem. Sometimes things feel less bad when they are more predicable. I knew someone who changed her lifestyle so as to spend more time with people and less watching certain TV as it helped with the voices.

The other thing you can do with the diaries, is write out what they are saying. Sounds pradoxical, but there's some research that shows that focusing on what they say actually helps more than trying to ignore what they say. You can also then look at the evidence - like you might when talking to a friend - is what they are saying true? what's the evidence for what they are saying? what's the evidence against what they are saying? Some times voices seem so powerful that poeple don't analyse what they say liek they might what other people say - yet to do that an help.

Good luck with them - look forward to seeing more posts from you.

[echo78]

sars hi nise to meet you too.
thanks for the reply, i dont look at the voice as being me at all, As i see the voice being seprate to me. IT does not sound like me for a start it a man voice deep and harsh. Its my thearpist (cpn) keeps on telling me its the in me. Some time i do talk to it but thats when i am on my own as i dont want to look silly talking to open air (lets say in town) people look at me strangely and it just set the voice of even more.

to day it been saying, it wants to turn me evil and then people like friends/family. will have the excuse of not wanting to be friends and they are looking for the excues to not have me around.

i have also had chats with my husband about how he was felling about things. he just started to go out one night a week to do a poker nights and every other week he meets his old work mate. he all feels we are moveing apart from each other. then in turn i worred about if he get drunk and emotional he may do some thing he regreats he also has that worry too. I am worred about his drinking . when he get stressed like he has a can of beer at dinner, then in the evening then have a glass of wine sometimes two, then at bed time he have a big wisky but he not going to drink in the week now and only have a drink at weekends so he says has he trying to not push down his feeling, Also he does not fined me atractive sexuly. which hurts alittle but i can understand it as i have not been looking after my self in weight and apperance. sigh its all to much to take in. sigh to be honest iam lost
i want to look after my self and stop this over eating but it hard to keep my composure let alone look at all of this with my husband, BUT I KNOW I HAVE TO DO SOMETHING !!!!!!!
Echo78 xxx

[echo78]

hi there sara,
Thanks for the the reply and help. I am glad i found this place. As i sometime i need to talk when i cant talk to my husband As some time he finds it hard to take in /understand stuff on what i am telling him. He as also registered for here to. So you may see him around his name is pinhead.

Thanks again
echo xxx

[Diana]

sometimes it's hard for relatives as we are too close - need other sources of support too.

Look forward to seeing pinhead on this site.

[julia]

There is a new Hearing Voices grojp starting upin Hailsham. This will be on a Monday afternoon from 2pm - 3pm , at Middlebridge in Hailsham and starting in November. To find out more information ring Julia on07795 044463 [voice mail] or Middlebridge 01323 446059. Look forward to hearing from you.